Wednesday, 23 December 2009
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"I'll Make a Mess of You"
It's been a long time since I was in a serious relationship, having spent the last couple of years dating around and "sowing my oats." Now, I'm interested in someone again and before it has even started, I'm thinking of all the ways it could go wrong.
I know this new boy is not my exes, but it's like I can't get my head to shut down and stop thinking about all the ways those relationships got screwed up. (Maybe it doesn't help that a recent song I've become obsessed with is about how a relationship will fail.)
Has this happened to anyone else, or am I alone with this brain that won't shut down? Am I doomed to mess this up before it even really progresses? What did you do to get over yourself? -
Broken Up With Via Monogram... By Your Mother-In-Law
The holidays are known to be highly sensitive times, with lots of emotion flowing pending time with family and pressure to give the perfect gift. To this end, there's a certain section of the population usually charged with giving the worst gifts: significant others of the male persuasion.
Stories from our mothers about that year dad gave her a vacuum cleaner or a toaster, or how he'll forget an anniversary every year. NPR recently aired a story where people wrote in to talk about the worst gift they'd ever received, and the story of the woman who was broken up with via Christmas gift takes the cake:CONAN: And this one - this goes along with your theme. Catherine emailed to say: My mother-in-law gave me a monogram sweater. Unfortunately, it was the initials of my husband's girlfriend. That's how I found out about it and she is now my ex mother-in-law.
DICKINSON: Whoa. Wow.
CONAN: Talk about - you know, it's bad news getting broken up with on a tweet, or an email or any way, but imagine getting broken up with by opening your Christmas gift.
DICKINSON: Getting broken up with via monogram.
The worst gift I was ever given was in one of the best relationships I'd ever had. We made it through Christmas scot-free, and I can't even remember what he gave me. But then Valentine's Day rolled around and he gave me a purple, singing, dancing monkey. From the guy who gave me a bouquet of flowers weekly. But wait! He also gave the same thing to my (single) best friend. Trying to be a nice guy I guess, but we broke up soon after.
What's the worst gift you've ever received? Or have you given something that you thought would go over well, only to have it backfire? (And for the record, I have to disagree with that NPR story in one aspect--- a Snuggie is a GREAT gift!)
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"Because Sometimes Boys Are Just Mean"
I was wallowing in man-hatred recently when one of my friends asked me what was going on. "Nothing really," I told her, and just explained what women have known from the dawn of time: men are idiots. She's a lesbian and I definitely have my share of homosexual friends, male and female, and the same thing always happens if any of them overhear my woes about men.
"You should be a lesbian," they'll say to me.
Okay, that would be great, if I were attracted to women. And I never really know how to react when I get this lecture. I usually just roll my eyes because seriously, I wonder if it has ever truly worked. Has anyone ever really been talked into switching teams?
I don't think I'd have a problem except for the sex thing. Women are gorgeous, true, and I've been known to kiss a few here and there (especially after a few or more drinks,) but the sex thing. I don't think I'd be able to give that part up.
And I know it happens to guys, too--I see one of my friends give the lecture to hot straight guys often.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these conversations? How do you react?
Monday, 21 December 2009
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Mo' Money, Mo' Problems?
I've been reading personal finance blogs here and there for awhile, and lately I've been seeing a lot about discussing money and finance in relationships.
One website cites a New York Times article that said that before couples get serious, they should sit down together and check out each other's credit history. That kind of shocked me, because if I'm not already serious with someone, it's definitely not their business. I understand if you're maybe getting ready to get married, it becomes relevant then, but definitely not before getting serious.
What do you think? Do you discuss finances with your significant others? Is a person's credit history a concern when you're deciding to date them? -
"Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend"
If you're single, there might be a simple mathematical explanation for it. Tristan Miller from the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence managed to figure out why, of 5.5 billion people on earth in 1999, he was still single.
In the whole world, he concluded that there were only 18,726 women out there that were of the right age, in the right region, and met a few other criteria. He'd have to date consecutively for almost 67 years in order to find "The One." It was a funny read to me, and maybe for the mathematically-inclined out there it would be more interesting, but that is not me.
So this holiday season, if your family asks why you're still single in a sea of married cousins (or is that just me?) you can simply explain to them that it's not statistically feasible for you to be in a relationship now.
