desilove's Datingish

"I'll Make a Mess of You"

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:50:33 GMT

It's been a long time since I was in a serious relationship, having spent the last couple of years dating around and "sowing my oats." Now, I'm interested in someone again and before it has even started, I'm thinking of all the ways it could go wrong.

I know this new boy is not my exes, but it's like I can't get my head to shut down and stop thinking about all the ways those relationships got screwed up. (Maybe it doesn't help that a recent song I've become obsessed with is about how a relationship will fail.)

Has this happened to anyone else, or am I alone with this brain that won't shut down? Am I doomed to mess this up before it even really progresses? What did you do to get over yourself?

Broken Up With Via Monogram... By Your Mother-In-Law

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:14:53 GMT

Source

The holidays are known to be highly sensitive times, with lots of emotion flowing pending time with family and pressure to give the perfect gift. To this end, there's a certain section of the population usually charged with giving the worst gifts: significant others of the male persuasion.

Stories from our mothers about that year dad gave her a vacuum cleaner or a toaster, or how he'll forget an anniversary every year. NPR recently aired a story where people wrote in to talk about the worst gift they'd ever received, and the story of the woman who was broken up with via Christmas gift takes the cake:

CONAN: And this one - this goes along with your theme. Catherine emailed to say: My mother-in-law gave me a monogram sweater. Unfortunately, it was the initials of my husband's girlfriend. That's how I found out about it and she is now my ex mother-in-law.

DICKINSON: Whoa. Wow.

CONAN: Talk about - you know, it's bad news getting broken up with on a tweet, or an email or any way, but imagine getting broken up with by opening your Christmas gift.

DICKINSON: Getting broken up with via monogram.

The worst gift I was ever given was in one of the best relationships I'd ever had. We made it through Christmas scot-free, and I can't even remember what he gave me. But then Valentine's Day rolled around and he gave me a purple, singing, dancing monkey. From the guy who gave me a bouquet of flowers weekly. But wait! He also gave the same thing to my (single) best friend. Trying to be a nice guy I guess, but we broke up soon after.

What's the worst gift you've ever received? Or have you given something that you thought would go over well, only to have it backfire? (And for the record, I have to disagree with that NPR story in one aspect--- a Snuggie is a GREAT gift!)

"Because Sometimes Boys Are Just Mean"

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:37:02 GMT

Source

I was wallowing in man-hatred recently when one of my friends asked me what was going on. "Nothing really," I told her, and just explained what women have known from the dawn of time: men are idiots. She's a lesbian and I definitely have my share of homosexual friends, male and female, and the same thing always happens if any of them overhear my woes about men.

"You should be a lesbian," they'll say to me.

Okay, that would be great, if I were attracted to women. And I never really know how to react when I get this lecture. I usually just roll my eyes because seriously, I wonder if it has ever truly worked. Has anyone ever really been talked into switching teams?

I don't think I'd have a problem except for the sex thing. Women are gorgeous, true, and I've been known to kiss a few here and there (especially after a few or more drinks,) but the sex thing. I don't think I'd be able to give that part up.

And I know it happens to guys, too--I see one of my friends give the lecture to hot straight guys often.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these conversations? How do you react?

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems?

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:59:44 GMT

Source

I've been reading personal finance blogs here and there for awhile, and lately I've been seeing a lot about discussing money and finance in relationships.

One website cites a New York Times article that said that before couples get serious, they should sit down together and check out each other's credit history. That kind of shocked me, because if I'm not already serious with someone, it's definitely not their business. I understand if you're maybe getting ready to get married, it becomes relevant then, but definitely not before getting serious.

What do you think? Do you discuss finances with your significant others? Is a person's credit history a concern when you're deciding to date them?

"Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend"

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:45:22 GMT

Source

If you're single, there might be a simple mathematical explanation for it. Tristan Miller from the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence managed to figure out why, of 5.5 billion people on earth in 1999, he was still single.

In the whole world, he concluded that there were only 18,726 women out there that were of the right age, in the right region, and met a few other criteria. He'd have to date consecutively for almost 67 years in order to find "The One." It was a funny read to me, and maybe for the mathematically-inclined out there it would be more interesting, but that is not me.

So this holiday season, if your family asks why you're still single in a sea of married cousins (or is that just me?) you can simply explain to them that it's not statistically feasible for you to be in a relationship now.

Deal Or Dealbreaker?

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:24:46 GMT

There have been a fair share of dealbreaker posts on datingish, and I'm throwing my own out there now. I'm really into this guy I go to school with. We have a lot of fun together, we share common interests, and we can talk for hours about music.

We're both 23, but he doesn't drink or party and kind of looks down on people who do, and that really bothers me. I'm not nearly the partier that I used to be, so it would bother me if he were to say anything about the nights I do go out.

Is this something you think I could overlook, or that maybe he'd learn to deal with? Are there any dealbreakers you thought you had that turned out to be a non-issue, or something that came up during a relationship that was the last straw?

All Men Have Watched Porn

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:26:43 GMT

Source

Recently, a firm in Montreal decided that they were going to do a study to find the effects that porn has on people.

The only problem: they can't find any men that have never watched porn.

They were able to discern that most boys seek out porn at the early age of 10 and that most of the porn is consumed on the internet (duh: like that musical goes, "The Internet is For Porn") and that couples rarely view porn together.

When did you watch your first porn? Does 10 seem early to you too? Are you shocked that they can't find men who've not watched porn? (I'm not!)

"Direct Contact With an Infected Person's Mouth Will Spread The Virus."

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:53:24 GMT

Source

It's flu season, and H1N1 adds another risk. For the health-conscious readers, Cosmopolitan published an article about what sexual behaviors are more risky than others for contracting the illness.

According to Cosmo, the missionary position is a high-risk behavior, right along with lip-kissing, bear hugging, and shaking hands. They make recommendations on how to reduce the risk, but I have my own recommendation: if you're sick, don't hook up! Stay in bed until you're feeling better!

Are they just cashing in on the latest in the news, or are there people out there who really need Cosmo articles to tell them how to avoid the flu?

Tiger: Not the One and Only

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:42:28 GMT

Source

The Tiger Woods drama is obviously all the media can talk about lately. From Rachel Uchitel to Cori Rist, most everyone in America knows their names. In an article on Examiner.com, they say this about Jaimee Grubbs, the Vegas cocktail waitress: "(she had) apparently had at least two other men involved in her life at some point."

Why is that an article-worthy principle? Did they expect that she had just waited her entire life to be the mistress of a famous golfer? Especially since she had been on VH1's Tool Academy with then-boyfriend, Shawn Southern, she was obviously not celibate. And she was obviously not the only woman in his life, so why should she be expected to only ever be with him? The Examiner also captions her picture with the statement "Jaimee Grubbs has a complicated history." I'm not sure I'd consider dating a tool or sending naughty pictures to a boyfriend "complicated," I'm pretty sure that's inherent in the Woods situation.

What do you think? Is it important for the media to note that Woods wasn't the only man in these women's lives, or are they just grasping at straws to keep it in the headlines? Are you sick of hearing about these ten women yet? (Gawker has a running list if you've lost count!) Is it that big of a deal that we date other people before a scandal breaks?

@datingish: will u marry me?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:08:40 GMT

It's undeniable that social network sites like Facebook are extremely important to some, down to the last detail like relationship status. Recently, a groom took out his cell phone in the middle of the ceremony to not only tweet that he and his fiancee had become man and wife, he also took pause to change his Facebook status to "married." (There's even video on YouTube.)

Mashable even has an account of a Twitter proposal, and Justin at Tumblr proposed to his girlfriend by posting a video at the top of the microblogging site. (She said yes.)

If someone proposed to you in this manner, or your fiancee halted the wedding ceremony to announce your new status, how would you react? What do you think of these guys? Is it different to ask someone on a date via Facebook or Twitter as opposed to proposing?